the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
40s are totally the cure
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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