Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
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