the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
