My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Randomize