her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
