Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
