Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
