just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
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