you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Do vagina's smell?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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