Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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