you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize