We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
