So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
