that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I could have mohawked her pubes.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
