in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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