There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You can't motorboat a personality
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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