We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
