ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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