I feel like I'm in dance class right now
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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