I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize