where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
