He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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