I CAN MOONWALK!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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