trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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