How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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