i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
