I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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