Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
