I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
