oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I need to stop coming to work sober
you would pick up someone in the library
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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