Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
