i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
