At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
