If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
