um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
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