No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize