is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
