we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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