I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Sext me about skeletons
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
