fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
