I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
