bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
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