i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
