if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Congratulations! We have a period
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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