I heard we made out
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
