i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
