how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
