Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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