Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
