Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
tell me about the eggs
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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