It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
