I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
