took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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