You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Randomize
