oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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