I'm so fucking centered right now
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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