Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize
