Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
