u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
